No responses? Here’s how to fix that

If you aren’t getting responses to your profile or to the messages you send, I’m here to help. The solution is simple — but different for men and women.

Women complain because no one contacts them. Men complain because women don’t respond to their messages.

Don’t take this lack of response personally. Because it isn’t personal. If you haven’t exchanged messages, they don’t even know you, so it can’t be personal.

I realize you might encounter some people who you’d otherwise cross the street to avoid, but you need to accept that this is a numbers game, and if everone can get online, then everyone will get online.

Consider this:

Online dating exposes you to more people than you’d ever meet in real life. With more opportunities for contact come more chances for silence. That’s just the way it is. So don’t take it personally.

Now let’s dig deeper into why your profile or messages aren’t generating more responses.

It’s simple: women tend to fall in love with their ears. Men tend to fall in love with their eyes.

For women
Men need to see your face. Without a hat. Without sunglasses. Without a mask. Without your dog, your cat, your children, your friends or your favorite vacation destination crowding you out of the frame.

You don’t get a second chance to make a first impression. Don’t blow it with a photo dominated by anything other than your smile.

For men
Women are less concerned with how you look than with who you are. What you write is more important than your photos. But if you have a beard, better tame it.

You have two opportunities to get their attention:

  1. The description you post about yourself and who you’re looking for.
  2. The initial message you send.

You may be tempted to send a “like,” “wink,” or some other cursory notification.

But don’t do that.

Instead, personalize every contact by referring to something in her profile that appealed to you. Don’t just compliment her appearance — that only shows you care more about how she looks than who she is.

Yes, personalized messages take more time and effort than generic ones. But the woman of your dreams is worth it. And you deserve the woman of your dreams. A personalized message is the first step toward proving you’re worthy.

Remember: you don’t get a second chance to make a first impression.